The Case For Peeing Outside

• Thomas Nelson
• October 24, 2021
• Sustainable Living
• 0 Comments

I have a memory of being very young and going to my friend’s grandma’s house out in the country. I told grandma that I had to use the bathroom and she delivered a directive to me: “If it’s number one, you just go outside. If you have to ‘oopy’ you can go inside.” Maybe this memory stuck with me because of the sheer amount of data that was delivered to my young brain at that moment, like the notion that peeing outside in the yard is actually a thing you can do. And truthfully, no one had ever used the word ‘oopy’ at me before. It was a lot to take in.

This 25-year-old memory comes to mind periodically when I’m doing an outdoor number one, as grandma suggested. It happens from time to time. I live in the middle of nowhere, so if I’m on a run and no one’s around, I’ll let loose my golden stream, sparkling in the sun. And to be honest, I sometimes give my compost heap a good drenching. I’ve read that it’s pretty good for compost.

But for the most part, the vast majority of the number ones I take are flushed down the toilet – the way most people would probably describe as ‘normal.’ Still, there’s a part of me that feels just slightly wrong when I do, like I’m disappointing grandma. Truthfully, she probably wanted to spare her septic tank the burden of a bunch of 8-year-olds flushing the toilet a bunch of times. But still, maybe grandma knew something I didn’t.

The case for peeing outside

This intro beats around the bush, so I’m just going to come out with it: you should pee outside. Often. As much as you can. If you’re a woman reading this and feeling left out of the fun, there are tons of different devices that allow women to urinate outside too. Let’s break down the pros of taking a whiz outside.

You save water

There’s the saying, if it’s yellow let it mellow. Basically, it means that you don’t have to flush every time you pee, as urine is generally pretty inoffensive to the senses. But that one flush still uses water, and even if you only flushed once per day, you’d still be using 365 gallons of water per year just to flush your urine.

If you’re properly hydrated, you likely urinate about 10 times per day. If you flush each time, add a zero to the above number – 3,650 gallons of water flushed down the drain every year. And that’s just you. If you have a household of 4, that number balloons to 14,600 gallons per year. Given that the average gallon of tap water costs about $.002, you’re also flushing about $30 down the drain every year. That’s beer money right there.

You return nutrients to the soil

Your urine isn’t just gross, yellow water that needs to go away. It’s got some neat stuff in it too, like nitrogen, potassium, and phosphorus. And let me tell you, plants love that stuff. Absolutely go bonkers for it. Urinating in your yard delivers these delicious nutrients to the plants that grow there. Just keep in mind that too much of a good thing is still, well, too much. It’s best to select a different spot every time if you can, or just pee directly into your compost heap like I do.

Word to the wise: try to aim your stream away from plants themselves. While it can be a kinky fun time to pee on someone who has consented to it, plants cannot. Rude! Additionally, and more seriously, urinating directly onto the leaves and stems of plants can damage them. Aim for the soil! If you’re really worried about it, you can fill a bucket half full of water and urinate into that, thus diluting the strength of your urine.

You’ve got options for peeing in your garden for sure!

The downsides of peeing outside

I’m an advocate for peeing outside and I don’t intend to back down on it. Predictably, I can already imagine the messages in my inbox, “Um, actually, not everyone can pee outside!” As annoying as the um actually crowd can be, they’d be right. Not everyone can, or should urinate outside. What are the downsides to this practice?

Getting caught

Urinating in public is illegal in every state and if caught doing so, prosecutors can charge you with the crime of indecent exposure, which may lead to a sex offender registration. All for taking a whiz outside. But what about on your own property?

Note: I am not a lawyer. As far as I can tell, there aren’t many laws that determine whether or not you can urinate in your own yard. There have, however, been some lawsuits where one neighbor sues another for indecent exposure. If you don’t have a very private area to do it, don’t do it.

Not enough yard

If you don’t have much of a yard, it may be hard to pee outside regularly. Urinating too much in one spot can generate an unwanted odor and kill any plants growing there. Not the ideal result, right? You might be able to get around this by heavily diluting your urine, or depositing it directly onto a compost heap. But folks with small or no yards will have difficulties.

Embrace the act of peeing outside

My attitude about this is: if you can, you should. If you can’t, don’t. Peeing outside saves water, saves money, and gives back a little something to planet. How can you lose?